Pasta tastes good. The Italians like it a lot, I do too. My friend Yavery likes pasta as well. Yavery likes Italians. She is moving to Italy to be with Italians and pasta. Pasta is yellow. You boil it so you can eat it. Yavery likes to boil stuff, that's why she likes pasta. Pasta is a fun word. Yavery likes to chant pasta all day long. She also likes to look at Italians all day. Yavery has an alternet ego named Deberah. Deberah hates pasta. Deberah shall be sacraficed to the pasta gods. The pasta gods are known as Spätzle, Pappardelle, and Orzo. The pasta gods rule *ALL*. If you disobey the pasta gods, they will murder you and your entire family. Deberah has cost her and Yavery's lives. It is sad because Yavery was a pasta lover, she prayed to the pasta gods for Deberah's sins. But the pasta gods won't hear of it. They shall be sacraficed tonight.
Farmboi61 will be hosting the sacrafice. Yavery cries in the corner. She still begs for forgivness but as I've said before, the gods don't give a shiitake mushroom about her. Deberah has won. Farmboi61 calls out to the god Pappardella. Pappardelle shoots a mighty bolt of stringcheese from the sky. It striks Yaverys foot causing her a great amount of pain. Then Orzo creates showers of pasta sause, which is as hot as lava. It flows down on Yavery. Yavery cries in pain, her screams being drowned by all of the sause. And lastly, the greatest, most powerful pasta god of them all, Spätzle, is called down by Farmboi61. Everyone anticipates what he will do to her. It seems as if it were hours before Spätzle finally spoke,"I am not going to kill this girl...." The crowd gasped. Spätzle lifted a finger to silence the people. "I am going to MURDER HER BRUTALLY!!!!!!" All the people began to cheer. Spätzle then lifted his mighty foot(all the gods were giants) and let it hang over top of Yavery. Yavery screamed,"No! I love pasta! Please don't kill me all mighty one!" Spätzle seemed to be thinging about what Yavery had just said. Then he answered,"Eh, nah." And with that he stomped on Yavery, killing her instantly. Everyone was crying... with tears of joy. It was only the Italians that were sad for there number one fan was now dead. Farmboi61 sent the pasta gods back into the clouds and the sacrifice was over. People went back to their little pasta houses and went to bed. Their dreams were filled with the sweet images of Yaverys head exploding. Yavery instantly went to hell. She will be tortured for the rest of eternity.
